God’s Not Worried, so Why do I Worry?

As we all know, the whole world is in upheaval. COVID19 has impacted the entire human race, all of our communities, and our individual plans. Earlier in the week I shared with a friend that I felt like I was in some weird time warp and low key horror film, with a love story? A little dramatic, but it made us giggle. Coming home 5 months early was the very last thing I ever expected. I really haven’t found many words to describe my feelings regarding the World Race ending so soon, but my friend Alycia put it this way,

“Let me first just say WOW.

WOW, I never thought I would be in the United States at this very moment.

WOW, I wouldn’t have expected something like this to take place in the world.

WOW, I didn’t know the last six months of my life would have gone the way they did.

WOW, I didn’t think they would get ripped away from me in a second. My mind is still spinning, sometimes that moment is still a blurr.

Trying to process it all has been tough. 

I am not one to be extra emotional and I am used to moving, adapting, and surviving, so I felt like this wasn’t new. God knew what my life would consist of, so He prepared me for this too. 

At first, I thought it was wrong that I wasn’t crying. I mean I had my little moments, but I actually found myself super excited. 

God had been speaking to me about some things He wanted me to do, but I knew that while I was on the Race, there just wasn’t room. 

Being in other countries was amazing, but there were times that I felt I made more of a difference at home. I didn’t think that was where I would end up so soon though. 

However, it’s okay, here I am and instead of sitting around twiddling my thumbs, I am working on those plans. 

Would I still love to be on the Race? Yes, more than anything.

Am I happy to be home? Yes, because this is where God called me. 

Do I miss my squad? Yes, but we will always be Z.

Even when things aren’t clear I know I serve a God that has a master plan.

I trust Him even when I don’t understand, so much that I put my life in His hands.”

As for me, I think I’m a little more emotional than Alycia, but her words really sum up the goodness of us coming home. There is something exciting and entirely terrifying when it comes to sitting in the unknown with God. What will He do next? Something good. As Alycia said, it was VERY exciting coming home, but it was also VERY painful. For me I was not ready to say goodbye to Z. Sam and I were beginning to get the hang of squad leading and we were in the middle of planning our next debrief. Mostly, I just love Z. I thought I had 5 more months with them, but we will always be Z. I’m learning that there is room for celebration in coming home and there is room for mourning the time lost with Z. Either way, Jesus is constant through it all.

Regarding COVID19: When I was in Cote D’Ivoire no one was really talking about the virus. We were aware of it’s whereabouts in Asia, but we also knew people were living. Coming home to America, where panic and fear loomed, and where everyone talked about a toilet paper shortage… well… that was a whirlwind in itself. I started to catch the panic, but then Jesus whispered to my heart.

One morning I wondered into the kitchen and looked out the window and I saw a little bird hopping around. With no care in the world, it carried on unaware of the pandemic. I instantly thought of the following scripture. 

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life.” -Matthew 6:26.

Laughing at myself, I took a deep breath in and soaked up the comfort of those words. He knows. I didn’t even realize that I had begun worrying. There I was letting the whole world sit on my shoulders. That scripture reminded me that Jesus knows my needs, the plan, and my next steps. That little bird reminded me of the song, I’ll Give Thanks. Written by Housefires, look at these beautiful lyrics.

“Every breath I breathe, an invitation, to believe You are creating something good.
Though this season doesn’t tell my story
I know You’ll move mountains for me,
You’re just that good.

So I’ll give thanks to God. When I don’t have enough, ‘Cause He’s more than enough, and He knows what I need.
So I’ll give thanks to God.

He always knows what we need
before we even ask, He knows what we need. So we can trust Him, we can trust Him… God’s not worried, so why do I worry?”

These lyrics are so soothing to the soul. Breathe them in deep, for He knows what we need. Therefore we can thank Him in advance before we see the blessing we long for. We can thank Him for what He has already done. We can thank Him for another day of life. We can praise Him, because He is sovereign. If He is not worried, why are we? We can each all play our part in social distancing of course, but we do not have to live in fear or panic. If God cares so much about the birds, why would He not care about YOU? I do not have all the answers, but I know He does. Even if He did not give me an answer, it does not change that He is good. He is good.